The decision to divorce is very difficult and emotionally taxing on all members of a family. While divorce may be the right decision for your family, it is important to be aware of how it will affect you and your children and to take steps to reduce the emotional strain and impact it may have. There are a range of emotions children can feel during a divorce, guilt, insecurity and a lack of love, just to name a few. Being mindful of these feelings and communicating with your child is necessary in helping your children get through this difficult time. This is not always an easy task, but there are numerous ways to minimize the impact divorce may have on your children:
- Talking about your emotions and expressing them in a healthy way shows respect toward your spouse and shows the children that it is ok for them to openly express their feelings as well.
- Let your children vent and express how they feel, no matter how hurtful it may be.
- Keep the children out of the middle, they are not messengers, sounding boards, or negotiators.
- Do not talk negatively about your spouse to the children no matter how angry you may be, this may foster guilt in a child because they still love both their parents. Instead, support and foster their relationship with their mother or father.
- Establish new traditions for holidays and birthdays and find new fun activities.
- Be mindful of changes in your child or noticeable rough patches.
- Arrange for counseling for the whole family to help with the transition.
- Try to keep a routine. Being single parent is hard, but a routine creates a sense of security and stability.
- Do not take your anger or emotional strain out on your children. The stress of a divorce and single parenting is a lot to handle, but children need to know that the divorce is not their fault. Being treated angrily or with frustration may cause them to place blame on themselves.
- Take some time from your busy schedules and simply spend time with your children, whether it is a vacation or simply relaxing while watching some television.
If you are having marital problems or are considering a divorce feel free to contact the Law Office of Carucci Butler, LLC at 302 654 5083.
